We have been renovating for about three months now. I no longer recognise the colour white. My home has become a ‘middle grey’ Zone V environment.

It has made developing film and scanning negatives at home impossible. I have seven rolls of film that I just got back from the lab. I am frightened to open the package. Dust is drawn to a clean surface like (insert your favourite ‘drawn to’ metaphor); I cannot take the chance.

Or maybe a weekend of hard labour with a can of Pledge, a hoover and our new Air Purifier (Winix Zero - it’s the bees knees) might called for! Watch this space but don’t touch anything or you’ll need to wash your hands again.